All Greened Out

The words ‘outdoorsy, ‘practical’ and ‘green fingered’ are never, ever used to describe me, which is why today was something of a trial. A sizeable patch of our garden has been bugging me for… ahem… quite a while (by which I mean more than just a few weeks…) and as the weather was as perfect as it ever gets in Britain, I knew the time had come to hunt in the shed for our old rake and shears and get to grips with the thorny brambles that have slowly been taking over the few trees that have survived our appalling lack of care.

I am now covered in scratches, I have a throbbing, sun-induced headache, but I have managed to defeat the evil triffids and reclaim some garden territory.

At the end of my ordeal, I wondered if it might be fun to round off the day by having a play with my perfumery equipment, but I decided against it on the grounds that my nose is probably seriously out of tune. I’ve been smelling utter greenness all day. Leaves, twigs, roots. They’ve all attacked me with the hiss of their oddly synthetic-smelling chlorophyll vibe. Then there was the damp earth, which instantly makes me think of patchouli (or should that be the other way round?) minus the chocolate drydown, of course. And finally, the near-corrosive reek of the white spirits I used to try – unsuccessfully! – to set the uprooted weeds on fire. Yup, my olfactory organ wants nothing more than a rest now. Instead of making more demands on it, I made an attempt to soothe it with the reassuring, gentle freshness of 4711.

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Changing the subject, I’m very excited about Friday because I’ll be attending the London launch of Andy Tauer’s latest creation, Orange Star. I hope to post a report about the event soon after the weekend.